Joy In The Midst of Struggles

This last week I had the wonderful opportunity to go to Puerto Rico with Lifetree Organization. I thought i should write about the many things God showed me over there and the many conversations i walked away knowing God's presence. first off, going into this trip i was nervous because what we were going to be doing was repairing homes. i did not know what exactly this meant and if i was going to be able to do the work. but right away the Lord assured me that he sent me to Puerto Rico for a reason and i should not doubt. well, He provided and this week we were to be painting the inside and outside of this elderly lady's home. PAINTING ! that is just perfect. i could do painting no problem. so the first worry was checked off and let me know the Lord was watching out for me. then we were told that there were 2 houses to do and we would be divided into 2 groups. the house i got chosen for was a lady named Vangelita. she lives with her 49 year old son who has polio which is the...

Last night in my psych of the exceptional child class we had a thought provoking discussion. We looked at the verse in Psalms that talks about God knitting us in our mother's womb and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image. my professor then asked us how we can apply that to our future students. at first i was thinking that i would tell my students with disabilities that they are made for a purpose and God did not make a mistake in creating them with a disability but then my professor threw us for a loop when she said what happens when that child says how could God make me fearfully and wonderfully made when i have such a flaw as a disability. how could God make a person with a disability when a disability is not wonderful at all?  for me this thought pained my heart for i do not think this way. but what would i say to that question ? through reflection i would say that God loves each individual. we are not made perfect and that is so we can seek God in our ...

There are two things that have come across me in this past week i thought i'd share.. first: it is interesting to me when i come in contact with an individual and they talk to my friend instead of me to ask a question. this happened to me last week where an individual who has come in contact with me several times and knows i am fully capable of talking turned to my friend to ask a question about me instead of asking it directly to me. now through my growth in figuring out what it is like to live with a disability and see the good in everything that happens i have viewed this situation differently. a year ago if this would have happened i would have walked away annoyed and bitter but through God working in me i have learned it is okay. individuals often feel uncomfortable when approaching a person with a disability because often times they have not interacted with a disabled person. i totally understand and forgive this individual because to think about it in their shoes i may h...

LABELED . The word majority of people fear. It has been brought up to me recently about how people have the fear to be labeled. I am in a psych class for the exceptional child and this topic came up last night. One big barrier for kids with special needs is there parents not wanting them to get help because they don't want their child to be "labeled". because of this the child suffers because he/she cannot get help and teachers have to be on their tip-toes to not offend the parent(s) or the child. Don't get me wrong.. i feel for these parents. we live in a world that people need to be perfect and if you are not perfect then you failed. so for a parent to have a kid with a disability, they feel as if they did not do their job  correctly. it is a hard truth and one that i know my parents and myself had to deal with. but what i want the parents to realize is it is their job to turn that label into a positive.. However,  this brings me to another thought as to why I ...

What does this year of 2014 look like for me? it is a year of change, a year of finding God's beauty in everyday life, appreciating what i have at every moment, growing in myself and my God , helping others, being a light for others, having new experiences, letting God shine through me. every time at new years people make "resolutions". majority of the time these resolutions get forgotten about within weeks or months. for me i just want to give this year to God and really try to let go and remember He has plans for me and I just have to listen. God has called me on this earth for a reason and i want to be in awe of Him everyday. i am not going to lie though that this year is going to be filled with worries, unknowns, and changes. i will be graduating from APU in May this year which is such an exciting but scary event. i must say that i am also proud of myself. for being a person with a disability so many individuals think there is not that great of a future for u...

2013 was quite the interesting year to say the least. It was filled with a lot of laughter, tears, smiles, joy, transitions, new and old things. looking back at the beginning of this year i struggled a lot with transitioning back from South Africa. I definitely had reverse culture shock to say the least. it was overwhelming coming back to people i love and wanting to talk so much about Africa and them not really understanding (which is not at all their fault). i missed the carefree nature of being in Africa and the fact that people did not judge me but instead everywhere i went i felt comfortable and accepted because in Africa they do not care about the outside. they just care about the inside . i missed being with my family (of 50 people) and waking up everyday to see there faces. but i feel like wherever you go you leave part of your heart there for i definitely did that with Africa for there is not a day that goes by where i do not think about that country, the people, and the k...

One thing that has been on my heart lately is how big of an impact a simple thing can have on someone. we go through this life with selfish intentions (not to put it to harshly) but i find it is true and i know i am at fault for it. its especially relevant during this Christmas season where you walk into a mall and your supposed to be finding a gift for someone but in the meantime of finding that gift people are rude to the workers, or in a hurry. people tend to forget what is the true point to all of this. it doesnt matter what the gift is, what matters is the heart of the person that gives the gift. i especially tend to forget that each day has value and what you say and do matters. i view myself as any other individual, "normal". i often forget i even have a disability. but i have moments of individuals telling me i have made an impact on their lives. now i am not trying to sound selfish here i just want to point out that we sometimes need those comments or a certain mo...