Joy In The Midst of Struggles

Reflecting on 2020 is interesting. It seems like everyone is just wishing for this year to be over. Isn't that true for any hard time that we go through? We beg and wish for things to end when it gets bad. However, I tend to find that when things get rough that is where true learning begins and where you find how strong you are and how important it is to lean on your people and your God. So here we go..all the things I learned in 2020.  January & February -  life was going smoothly and I had a whole plan for this year (which thank God that plan fell through because God definitely had a way better plan) March  - I still remember reassuring my kids on Friday the 13th that I would see them in two weeks and they have nothing to worry about. ha! So here we go as far as change of plans. I became single this month as well. Oh but a big blessing this month was my beautiful nephew being born! April - This was an incredibly hard month as distance learning was not mandatory and I only had

 Hello my readers, sorry I have not been posting much but when you are a virtual teacher you need the break from the computer when you can get it. But recently something happened that I needed to stress. In October I returned to my childhood orthopedic doctor because finding a new doctor that really knows about CP is actually extremely hard and I needed a refill of my medications so I decided to return to my old one. The appointment went well and he told me that I am still doing great and no other recommendations except to increase my vitamin D (gotta keep those strong bones). Well in November I got a refill of my one medication. I got home and opened the bottle and realized wow these pills are a lot bigger than my previous ones. I then read on the label they were 5 mg instead of my usual 2 mg (which I take twice a day which therefore is roughly 5 mg for the whole day not 5 mg for one dose). I immediately did not feel comfortable so I figured well I will just cut the pill in half. Then

 Hi There! Here we are another year and another World CP Day! It's hard to believe I have started this blog 8 years ago and have been discussing life with CP for that long! Never would I have thought I would be so open about my CP struggles as I do in this day and age but I have learned through writing this blog that it is very educational for you readers and helpful for me. If you follow me on social media you know I did a poll and a lot of you do not know what CP is or what causes it so here are your answers! What is CP? Cerebral (part of the brain) Palsy (weakness or problems with using the muscles) is a disability that affects a person's ability to move and maintain balance and posture. There are different types of CP like spastic where the muscles are incredibly stiff or dystonic which is involuntary movements (which is what I have) where if I reach for something or carry a glass of water I cannot control my shakiness. What is the cause of CP? CP is caused by an abnormal b

When a chapter closes it is a mix of emotions. You feel excited, nervous, sad, doubtful...all the feels. Last week I said goodbye to my first apartment that I had been living in for 2 and a half years. Now I know some people may say well it is just an apartment but this apartment meant much more than just a place of living. I remember seeing this apartment building getting built and every time I would pass it I would think "my goodness that would be a great place to live". Then passing by it one day with my mom she said well why don't we go check it out...three days later I applied and got the apartment. It happened so fast and I was so excited to be moving into this dreamy place but so nervous because it was the first time I would be living alone. I mean mind you I am a completely independent woman with CP but I do struggle with some things like opening jars and bottles, getting things put away quickly, opening packages, etc. But if you set your mind to it you can acco

"Ain't it funny how life changes. You make plans and you hear God laughing"...Thomas Rhett. That song speaks such truth because I definitely made plans and God changed that all around. 3 months ago I found myself in a state of grief because my future plans all crumbled to pieces. Literally every piece of my future that I had planned out broke. I do not think anything can prepare you for grief. I think grief is a process and a journey and I do not know if you can ever really get over grief. It will always have a slight tug to your heart. Hello quarantine and hello a broken-hearted Nicole. I have learned a lot about life and a lot about my God throughout this time. I have learned that it is okay to have some days where you just cry and don't do anything for that day except have a box of tissues by your side. I have learned it is okay to be angry as well and to express that to God. I have learned to process through emotions one moment at a time and one day at a tim

A few months ago I was walking down my apartment hallway. My neighbor's door was open and her little girl was in the hallway. As I am walking down the hallway I hear the little girl say "Mommy, why does that girl walk funny" (not the first time this has happened. Majority of the time parents love to say "Shhhhh! That's rude. Don't say that!"). But instead of the typical response I usually hear the mom had a beautiful reaction. She said, "Well honey, why don't you come inside and we can talk about it. You see sometimes people are born differently...". I didn't hear the rest of the response because I didn't want to creep but I wanted to yell Thank you! Thank you for not sweeping it under the rug and teaching your young ones that it is okay to just ignore us disabled individuals and it is not okay to ask questions. This mom had the right response. She took it as an opportunity to teach her daughter that there are different individual

Here we are ... week 10 of this Corona Virus isolation. 10 weeks ago I thought this was only going to be a three week ordeal and now who knows which is the scary part right? However, I have learned so much in these 10 weeks and quite frankly have been on an emotional and physical rollercoaster so I wanted to hop on here and share what I have learned. I have learned a lot about my physical body  upon which I have never experienced before. Before COVID I lived a very active life. From teaching all day and moving around the classroom and the school to then getting home and go to a 1 hour hot yoga class. I never really sat down for a solid hour until after dinner. Then in this not so active isolation wow did my body take a turn not for the better but for the worst.  For the first two weeks of this starting I was okay and then I started getting intense lower back pain. Usually if my lower back is tight I focus on stretching and maybe use a back massager but the pain usually goes away in