Joy In The Midst of Struggles

I decided to write on a funny topic that happens all of the time. let me give you a couple of scenarios. I walk into the nail salon..."oh hi niki!! how you doing?" (they say nothing to my mom who is always there) I walk into the gym... "oh hi nicole! how are you??" (they say nothing to my friends who always come with) i could go on and on about the different places I go where the workers who are there will know me by name but will not know the person who always comes with me. it is like the joke between my mom and I. She will always tease me and say "how come they always say hi to you but don't know me when I am with you every time!" it has allowed me to think about it and question why exactly that is. i think it is because it is so rare to see a person with a disability like me living an everyday life. especially how i love to have conversation with people in which most people with disabilities cannot communicate as well. so when they meet me ...

On Saturday I went to walk up my stairs and my foot slipped from under me and I fell and hit my nose on true edge of the stairs. my nose did not bleed that much so i thought nothing of it. although it did seem to be a little crooked so today i went to the ER to get it checked to see if it was broken. i thought i would share my experience... first i had to get a CAT Scan so they could see my nose because it was not hurting and did not look like it was broken. it was a struggle to get the scan because you have to hold your head very still. well when i get nervous i get shakier and it is very hard for me to not shake even if i try my best to calm down. so they had to strap my head and chin down so i would not move. luckily it worked and they were able to get the scan and see that my nose was not broken!!! it just is swollen so hopefully it will hopefully be normal and not look crooked!! my other story i wanted to share was a reminder of how blessed i am. the doctor of the ER was a ver...

I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason and that a person can learn from every experience. Many of you have been asking about my job. After careful consideration, praying, and discussing with friends and family i have come to the conclusion that the job did not fulfill what i would like to do. many of times in our culture we want things now and do not take the time to really think about what we are doing. we get caught up in the moment. and sometimes we need to learn to think things over and analyze who we are and what we need . that is the true struggle of the transition of life after college. all through the 4 years of college we think we know what we want to do but do not really know until we get into something. through the process of making this decision i have realized my true passion is to work specifically with children who have disabilities. that is what gives me the true joy and those are the moments i feel closest to God. by working in the special ...

Tonight was my first night back volunteering for special needs during church service. i worked with the kids last summer and was so excited to come back to work with them. after the service on my drive home i had nothing but a smile on my face for how good God is and His little reminders. all of the kiddos in my class are mostly on the autism spectrum. there was a new boy that i just met for the first time today. right when he came to the classroom he asked me "who are you? and what is your name?". it made me smile with how blunt he was and me noting to myself well this is going to be interesting... this little boy looked at me like any other person: -he asked me to play tic tac toe -he went to me for help when the iPad was not working -he listened to me and did not act out when i told him i couldn't do something as i left after service he was in the lobby and asked me "are you going home? your not staying here? wait, what's your name?" his innocenc...

12:50 - stuck in traffic, literally have not moved for 5 minutes. My interview is at 1:00! What am i going to do? i take out the dreaded phone and dial the number of the lady i am interviewing with. i tell her i am stuck in traffic and am going to be late. She says "oh, thank you for calling, take your time, i appreciate you letting me know" PHEW! I am in the clear I knew it from the first few moments of talking with this lady that this was going to be different. she looked at me like a normal individual. she did not look tense or apprehensive when looking at me and answering questions. she just got me. the second question she asked me was how are you going to be a good support to these adults with disabilities? (thinking to myself this is the question i was born for). i explain to her that i have grown my whole life fighting for my rights and the respect/accommodations i need and now it is my turn to do that for others. i understand what individuals with disabilities nee...

This whole post grad life job-hunting is not as easy as one may think. I must say I think i was naive when thinking about post-grad life and how i thought it would not be that hard to find a job. welp reality sure did hit and here i am three weeks post grad and honestly have no idea what i am doing. yes i have: -had 2 job interviews -applied to probably 30 jobs -no success so far all i want to do is pursue my passion of helping others with disabilities but how can i do that if i don't have a job? well let me tell you what i have learned in the midst of this dry patch. why would one want to hire a person with a disability? this thought has popped in my head hundreds of times in what you would call post-grad life. i have learned that in interviews i have to address the elephant in the room which is my physical disability. i can guarantee the person that is interviewing me is thinking hmmm how is this girl going to do well with a disability. it is just another obstacle in li...

4 years ago I remember crying all the time as I was preparing to move out for college. I was so nervous transitioning to living on my own because I did not think i could do it. i was scared that my roommate would not be helpful or judge me for my disability. i didn't think i could make friends or do my own laundry or go get food all the time. what if i couldn't open something who would help me? these were the thoughts of my mind freshmen year. but now let me tell you how those thoughts were completely wiped away and what i have gone through in these past 4 years have completely blown my mind and i have seen God's beauty work through my life to make me the completely independent person living with a disability i could be. my first big step was applying to be an alpha leader and i got it! i got the opportunity to be a student leader. i got the opportunity to go on bridges, which is physical demanding because you have to walk and serve all over san fran. when i accomplished ...