Joy In The Midst of Struggles

Today my friend asked me a hard question. she knows i fully believe in inclusion and am a strong advocate for it. she asked me how i could be in a special ed classroom all day with kids with disabilities and does not have inclusion. for those of you who don't know i want to be a special ed teacher. i had to think about this question and this is what i said:' God has called me to this profession for a reason and it is simply to be an advocate for these children with disabilities. i don't know what school i am going to be teaching at but i know that if he calls me to a school where the kids get no interaction with gen ed students  then i am going to fight. God has given me this drive to fight for those who have disabilities just like i fight for myself. i will fight for my students to get to interact with gen ed students and get opportunities to be the best they can be. that is why our society is SO messed up!!!! people hide individuals with disabilities. they think that a...

for those of you who don't know i teach a 5th grade class science on fridays. before entering this class i was nervous at how the kids would view me as a person with a disability. it was hard for me because i have not been in a classroom with kids this age. however it amazes me how much God has worked through this 5th grade class and how much he has reassured me of what i am supposed to be doing. i had a beautiful realization after this fridays visit. let me explain so this friday i originally couldnt go because of a meeting but this meeting was cancelled. so i showed up to class 5 minutes late. when i entered the room all of the kids said my name and were super excited i was there. this made me smile from ear to ear. these kids really love me. throughout the time kids would come up to me rather than the other teachers for help. i would joke with the kids, we had conversations about nicki minaj and one direction. but i think the best moment was when this quiet boy told me that if...

Due to some circumstances i have encountered in this semester i have realized how important it is to stand up for your rights. it has been a struggle for me to decide whether to say something or not but throughout these situations i have realized it is extremely important to stand up. if you dont do it then who else will. majority of the time people do not stand up so if you dont then nothing can be changed or be accomplished. we live in a society where disabled individuals get stepped on and their voice is not heard. the Lord has put it on my heart to be one to stand up so that it can also benefit others. the things i have learned through this process is how when i do stand up for something that was not right the individual learns through their mistake and is actually grateful i did say something so they then know what to change and will not do it again. also since disabled individuals are such a minority people do not know what to do when they come in counter with me. it is not the...

Last night on my way home from chapel i totally tripped and fell right on my face. Now let me tell you this is not a rare occurrence. I was happy last night that when i did fall i did not break skin and i had my wonderful friends there to help me get back up and keep going. My one friend and i have this joke that she will always catch me when i fall because the first night i met her was in Africa and i slipped down a hill in which she then caught me. and trust me i have tripped more times when i have been with her. story of my life. the reason why i trip so much is because of the way i walk. majority of people walk heel to toe. i however, walk toe to heel. therefore it is much easier for me shoe to get caught on a crack and there i go! i used to trip A LOT more when i was younger which thankfully due to improvement of therapies and getting myself stronger i only trip on occasion. even though i still get embarrassed and mad at myself for tripping i just have to accept it and move on. ...

This weekend i had a great conversation with one of my long time family friends. it was such a good reminder. i was talking about how i started this blog and what i write about and what kinds of things happen to me as a individual with a disability. her kids and i grew up together and she mentioned how her kids never questioned me for having a disability and how they always just loved me for who i was. it was not until later when they asked her what i had but when she told them they accepted that fact and moved on. nothing even changed when they knew. there were and sometimes are times where i think how do my friends see me and what do they think. this conversation this weekend led me to think about my past and current friendships. growing up i never thought i was different because my friends treated me like i was not. same as now. no matter where i go and what i am doing i feel like just an average person which i am so beyond blessed by. i have such open and trusting relationships t...

Why do I even doubt God? Today was a very humbling moment for me. It was my first day going into a 5th grade classroom to teach a science lesson. We teach in groups so it was myself and 5 other girls. I was very nervous because of two things. First, this was my first time teaching in a regular classroom except for p.e. last year. I am used to a small special need class where i do not feel judged or different. Second, i am never sure what kids are going to think of me. last semester in the pe class many of the kids commented that i talk "weird" or "different. i have this nervousness in me that whenever i go to meet new kids they may say a rude comment. with that being said i was so nervous for today because i was doing the main lesson so i had to teach first. before going into the classroom, this morning i was praying that God would be with me and that everything would go smoothly and allow the kids to accept me with loving arms. let me tell you they sure did. there was...

Through the past 3 years or so every once in a while i get a person who comes up to me and either wants to pray over me to heal me or gives me advice on how to heal myself. this is a very frustrating  situation. in all of the cases it is someone who does not truly know me or flat out random. i will explain the first time and the most recent time and then my overall thoughts the first time this happened i was walking on APU campus and this guy came up to me saying that he has seen me around and it looks like i need healing. he then prayed for me asking the Lord to heal me. i was not as strong in my faith or my disability at that time so i let him pray. when he ended the prayer he looked at me and watched me walk away thinking that i should be healed and 'normal'. i was very shaken up by it and just did not know what to think this last week i met with a yoga instructor for a one on one. she told me that i can heal myself through this and God gave us resources like using yo...