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don't you want to be healed?

Through the past 3 years or so every once in a while i get a person who comes up to me and either wants to pray over me to heal me or gives me advice on how to heal myself. this is a very frustrating situation. in all of the cases it is someone who does not truly know me or flat out random. i will explain the first time and the most recent time and then my overall thoughts

the first time this happened i was walking on APU campus and this guy came up to me saying that he has seen me around and it looks like i need healing. he then prayed for me asking the Lord to heal me. i was not as strong in my faith or my disability at that time so i let him pray. when he ended the prayer he looked at me and watched me walk away thinking that i should be healed and 'normal'. i was very shaken up by it and just did not know what to think

this last week i met with a yoga instructor for a one on one. she told me that i can heal myself through this and God gave us resources like using yoga and nature to help heal ourselves. she also told me about an article where a girl who had cerebral palsy got healed. that is great but  i am not going to yoga to heal myself i am going to yoga to make myself stronger so i can do more things. 

now here is my feelings that i have worked through the past years to fully understand. God made me with this disability for a reason. He is using me for a purpose and provided me with a calling to inspire others that God can work in BIG ways even when you are not perfect. he called me to open eyes to others about those who are disabled and to be an advocate and voice for them. i think what irritates me the most is these people that come up to me are all random and do not know my situation. they do not know that i am comfortable in my disability. they do not know that i am at peace with my relationship with God and know that  he created me in His eyes and i can only trust in him for what is best in my life. they do not know that i have no idea what it is like to not have a disability and i am okay with that for that is what keeps me positive because i can look at my life on a daily basis and see that i am improving. don't get me wrong God is a great healer and i have total faith that He can heal anybody but for me that is not what he is telling me and i am okay with that.

 i think that people look at someone who is different and think that they hate their life. for me i am so beyond grateful for my life. having a disability allows me to see more things as blessings. just being able to walk without a walker or braces on my feet is an utter blessing. being able to go to college and defy so many odds that were against me is a blessing. i love God so much and he is using those moments to make me a stronger person and to trust in Him so much more. even though he has not healed me. he does mighty miracles for me everyday in which leave me speechless.

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 23, 2013 at 12:51 AM

    this is an absolutely incredible blog. you are such an inspiration and a light of God, Nicole. Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete

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