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Life is tough but so are you!

Here we are ... week 10 of this Corona Virus isolation.

10 weeks ago I thought this was only going to be a three week ordeal and now who knows which is the scary part right? However, I have learned so much in these 10 weeks and quite frankly have been on an emotional and physical rollercoaster so I wanted to hop on here and share what I have learned.

I have learned a lot about my physical body upon which I have never experienced before. Before COVID I lived a very active life. From teaching all day and moving around the classroom and the school to then getting home and go to a 1 hour hot yoga class. I never really sat down for a solid hour until after dinner. Then in this not so active isolation wow did my body take a turn not for the better but for the worst. For the first two weeks of this starting I was okay and then I started getting intense lower back pain. Usually if my lower back is tight I focus on stretching and maybe use a back massager but the pain usually goes away in a few days. Well this pain was not going away. I would do yoga and it almost seemed like it made it worse. I woke up almost crying some days and I have a very high pain tolerance so if I am crying from pain you know it is bad. 

So I went on a search and started trying remedies. I used a massage gun, I went for flat walks, I stretched throughout the day for only a few minutes instead of all at once. I iced my back every morning and throughout the day and slowly but surely it got better. Now in week 10 I still ice my back every morning I stretch before bed and throughout the day and I switch off from either doing yoga or going for flat walks no uphill walks.

Through this what I have learned in how crucial hot yoga is for my body and how it truly is like physical therapy for me. No amount of yoga at home is equal to doing yoga in the studio. That 105 degree heat does something for my muscles that I cannot comprehend. I still have way tighter legs and slight lower back pain and I do my best but honestly I cannot wait to do yoga back in the studio. I have also learned the Lord definitely blessed me with a career that is very active because there is no way this body can handle a desk job because these muscles freeze and tighten when inactive.

I have learned a lot emotionally and mentally. I have lived by myself for two years now and I have never felt lonely. I think honestly it is because I am only really home to eat dinner, relax, and go to sleep but with this whole isolation well I am not busy. I spend my mornings and early afternoons with online learning but then after that I am by myself trying to find activities to keep me occupied. I felt alone. I have spent nights of sadness, nights of anger, of denial and bitterness. Seeing other people stuck in isolation with their boyfriends or husbands or roommates and here I am with my cat...alone. I have had days where I feel great and positive about everything and days where I don't want to do anything because I am just upset. I have to keep reminding myself Life is tough but so are you, Nicole! I had to really sit in the presence of the Lord and reflect on the toughness of my life. I have been through a lot of hard things because of my lovely Cerebral Palsy but I have always come out of those hard moments stronger with lessons learned. I have learned I am not alone because I have the Lord right by my side saying you will get through this. I know this is just another moment in life that I will look back on and smile because there was a purpose or a lesson that I will learn from going through isolation alone. To all those out there who have struggled through these 10 weeks please know I am right there struggling with you and feeling alllllll the emotions but never give up because one thing I have learned through having CP is life may be tougher having CP but that always means I am an extremely tough individual and I have CP to show others you can make it through the tough times.

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