Skip to main content

A Whole New Decade

 It has been over a year since I have been on here but I thought that my upcoming birthday of turning 30 was fitting to write a post about this last decade of my life. Especially since this blog has been a part of my 20s. So I thought I would write a letter to my 20 year old self..

Hey girl,

It is me, the older, stronger, more independent version of yourself. I know right now you are so excited because you just got your driver's license which is the first step to independence and knocking down a boundary that people said you could not break through. But girl that is just the start. You truly have no idea how God is going to move you to become such a successful independent woman. I know right now you are worried that no one is going to want to hire you for being a special education teacher. I can tell you it is not going to be easy. You are going to have to fight for your abilities but the right principal is going to see you and believe in you and give you that chance because here we are now approaching year 8 of being a teacher. 

You are going to have to learn to advocate for yourself big time. Your free therapy services are coming to an end and you are going to have to find your own way. Your own way of finding doctors who won't just write you off because you are a functioning adult with CP. You are going to have to research and find therapies that work best for your body. But you will get there and you will learn to fight through physical pain more and more when you get older but as long as you stick with treating your body right you will be okay.

& I know a big one for you is love. Don't worry you will find it and it will blow you out of the water when he walks into your life but you are going to have to be patient. You are going to watch everyone around you find their happily ever after and you will have many nights of crying but I just want to tell you that the waiting will be worth the years of singleness. How on to God's promises that he hears you and knows your heart and he will fulfill your desires but be patient because it truly is in his timing alone.

Lastly, I am so PROUD of you for all the work you have done in this decade. It has not been in easy and you will go through heartbreak by many people and rough times trying to find your way but you are one strong woman that dreams and doesn't give up until that dream is fulfilled. Keep being a badass girl

Love,

Your 30 year old self.

My best friend asked me the other day is this where you thought you would be when turning 30? My answer was for the most part yes. I dreamed of having a career. I thought I would be married with kids (no kids and just barely made the marriage timeline). I didn't think I would have my own house. I didn't expect to go on as many travel adventures by myself. But I am so in awe of the confident person I have become where I do not let my disability define me and I am so proud I have put in the work to learn how to be confident in who God made me. My 20s had a lot of rough moments but a lot of good good moments and many things that I did not expect. I cannot wait to enter this new decade with my man by my side and honestly can't wait to see what God has in store for the both of us in this new chapter of our lives. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pregnancy & Birth

 Hi there! I know I do not blog on here on a regular basis anymore but my baby is napping and I wanted a place where I could remember the beauty of my pregnancy and birth. So here we go... June 20, 2023: I found out I was pregnant! Cue all the emotions (excited, nervous, scared) and the now what!  June-July 2023: I had just switched to my husband's insurance so I didn't have a doctor or anything. Luckily, with Kaiser I was able to get in pretty quickly. You see I wanted to be seen pretty quickly because I was on medication. I have been on medication since I was 15 for my spasticity/shakiness in my hands. Mind you I was 30 when I found out I was pregnant so I have been on this medication 3 times a day for half of my life 😲. I had no idea how my body would react to being off of it or even the process of getting off the medication. At first I was getting varying opinions about whether to stop cold turkey or to stay on it. Eventually, I spoke with my neurologist (who I wasn't ...
Post a Comment
Read more

You talk funny

So I have always debated about doing a post on this subject but I always convince myself not to but my hope for this blog is to enlighten others about the disabled community so here it goes... Let's talk about my speech and how I talk... This is a rough topic because I never really have told others about this insecurity of mine but I have recently gotten peace about it and I feel like I finally embrace it You know having Cerebral Palsy it affects your muscles and one of those muscles it affects for me is my tongue. Thus is why I do talk differently. I went to a speech therapists from one I was in kindergarten all the way to about 5th grade. My speech has improved greatly from it but yes I do still talk differently. So can I tell you growing up and honestly until about a month ago I used to HATE hearing my voice on any recording. It would make me so uncomfortable because in my head the way that I hear myself I sound normal. So then when I go to hear my voice on a recording I...
3 comments
Read more

Struggle is Real with Adult CP

 Here is something that frustrates me about the state of California. Basically since I was diagnosed with CP I went to CCS (California Children Services). They provide free occupational and physical therapy until your 21. This is so awesome and I would go twice a week until high school where I would do more check ins because I was becoming more independent and doing so well I did not need it as much. Now I know what your thinking...um Nicole why are you frustrated with this? Well did you noticed I bolded until your 21? This is the issue. Once you turn 21 they are like bye bye good luck with the rest of your life. It has been difficult because you get dropped off and on your own without any recommendations of where to go next in life.  Most of you know that hot yoga has been a life saver for me and has basically become my physical therapy and it has been great until...covid. Due to the shutdown it also caused a shut down of my body because my physical therapy (aka yoga) was tak...
2 comments
Read more