It has been over a year since I have been on here but I thought that my upcoming birthday of turning 30 was fitting to write a post about this last decade of my life. Especially since this blog has been a part of my 20s. So I thought I would write a letter to my 20 year old self..
Hey girl,
It is me, the older, stronger, more independent version of yourself. I know right now you are so excited because you just got your driver's license which is the first step to independence and knocking down a boundary that people said you could not break through. But girl that is just the start. You truly have no idea how God is going to move you to become such a successful independent woman. I know right now you are worried that no one is going to want to hire you for being a special education teacher. I can tell you it is not going to be easy. You are going to have to fight for your abilities but the right principal is going to see you and believe in you and give you that chance because here we are now approaching year 8 of being a teacher.
You are going to have to learn to advocate for yourself big time. Your free therapy services are coming to an end and you are going to have to find your own way. Your own way of finding doctors who won't just write you off because you are a functioning adult with CP. You are going to have to research and find therapies that work best for your body. But you will get there and you will learn to fight through physical pain more and more when you get older but as long as you stick with treating your body right you will be okay.
& I know a big one for you is love. Don't worry you will find it and it will blow you out of the water when he walks into your life but you are going to have to be patient. You are going to watch everyone around you find their happily ever after and you will have many nights of crying but I just want to tell you that the waiting will be worth the years of singleness. How on to God's promises that he hears you and knows your heart and he will fulfill your desires but be patient because it truly is in his timing alone.
Lastly, I am so PROUD of you for all the work you have done in this decade. It has not been in easy and you will go through heartbreak by many people and rough times trying to find your way but you are one strong woman that dreams and doesn't give up until that dream is fulfilled. Keep being a badass girl
Love,
Your 30 year old self.
My best friend asked me the other day is this where you thought you would be when turning 30? My answer was for the most part yes. I dreamed of having a career. I thought I would be married with kids (no kids and just barely made the marriage timeline). I didn't think I would have my own house. I didn't expect to go on as many travel adventures by myself. But I am so in awe of the confident person I have become where I do not let my disability define me and I am so proud I have put in the work to learn how to be confident in who God made me. My 20s had a lot of rough moments but a lot of good good moments and many things that I did not expect. I cannot wait to enter this new decade with my man by my side and honestly can't wait to see what God has in store for the both of us in this new chapter of our lives.
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