Joy In The Midst of Struggles

|| 2 0 1 4 || As i reflect on the year of 2014 two things come to mind: transitions and reality check. This year was a time of the unexpected. So let me take you through the main events and what i learned. Graduated College The time had finally come where i graduated from the most amazing university: Azusa Pacific University. This place easily became my new home and the time had come where i had to say goodbye. Especially goodbye to a life i have known for the past 16 years...school. This was the first transition of this year. It had been like every other summer where i move back home but then in august i would move back in with the most amazing girls...nope. When would i move out again? When am i going to see my best friends again? What job am i going to get? These were all the questions i had to deal with in this first transition. The period I would like to say The Unknown Summer Oh summer is usually a glorious time of reading books, tanning, and endless days. Well thi...

I am taking a class right now on disabilities and one of our assignments is to watch a movie featuring an individual with a disability. the movie i chose to watch is called front of the class. it is about an individual who has Tourette Syndrome and his journey through childhood until now when he is fighting for a teaching job. the funny thing is as i was watching this movie it was like i was watching my life before my eyes. the things he went through are exactly what i have gone through. even his viewpoints on having a disability are like mine.  in elementary school the teachers thought he was dumb...like me (just because you have a physical disability does not mean you are dumb. going on job interviews are horrible...some of the interviewers don't even give you a chance because of your disability (exactly like how so many interviews went for me this past summer) people stare at him in public because he is different...just like me however, he and i both agree th...

Yesterday I wrote a beautiful article from a mother who talks about her down syndrome son. In the article she says that she forgets her son has down syndrome. She looks at her son as any other person and does the title of down syndrome goes away until someone brings it up. This made me think about my life and how I, too, forget that i have a disability. Many of my family and friends say the same thing. i view myself as just another person and it is not until something gets brought up that i think about my disability. i mean yes i may have to ask for help to do something but that is just my normal. This also made me think what if  people forgot those with a disability are different. what if  people did not look to others and judge them by their outside appearance but instead judge them from the inside. i know i know this is pretty much impossible but the more people who forget  then the more that dream will come to life. the other day in my special education class we t...

Tonight I was reminded to take time away from our busy schedules. I think many of times we get in the routine of our busy lives. Where we are constantly thinking about what to do next or what to do tomorrow. We are constantly checking off of our checklist what we did or need to do. We often forget to take time to seek the beauty of today or take a step back to see where we are in life and who is surrounding us. Lately, I have been so caught up with my credential, constantly doing homework or thinking what I need to do. I stress out in times I shouldn't and get annoyed when i shouldn't just because I am thinking about what to do next and how I need to do it right now!! Sometimes we just need to STOP . Put things on pause and enjoy the beautiful things that God has granted you. Tonight, my family got together for a family dinner. It allowed time for me to pause  and look around at my family members and think how each one fulfills my life. We got to reminisce on old memories a...

On Oct 1 it was World Cerebral Palsy day (which is the first year i knew about it!) and it led me to reflect on who i am as a person with Cerebral Palsy and the lessons it has taught me which i thought i would share... -do not listen to people who tell you that you can't do something because you will do it just to prove them wrong -i am a lot stronger than i think -even though i fall (literally) i will always get back up and keep pushing on -always stick up for what i deserve -i have more empathy for others especially those with any type of disability because i know exactly how it feels to struggle, to be looked at differently, and to be told you don't deserve a chance -if you want to know if a person is good and caring just have them interact with me because how they treat me will tell all (such as if they talk to me like I'm normal or if they baby talk to me like I'm dumb) -i often don't even realize i have a disability because it is just a part of ...

Tonight in my grad school class we watched a video about a girl who has severe autism. one day she was introduced to a computer and she started typing how she felt. it was amazing the things she was writing and just how smart she really is. on the outside, however, majority of people would have thought that she was severely handicapped and dumb. this video made me realize two things: how parents can be such a motivator/life changer and how we often prejudge someone. It then made me reflect back on my life and my parents. if it were not for my parents i would not be where i am today. i would not be sitting in grad school pursuing a career in special education. they truly believed in me and knew i could do great things just like the parents of the autistic girl. i think i often times am not thankful enough for my parents. i tend to forget how much they had to fight for me and not listen to the negative people telling them i could not do something and how they would truly do anything to...

As this summer comes to a close I am reflecting on all that i have learned and boy was it a wake up call and filled with lots of ups and downs. I started this summer off with the idea that now i have my B.A. in Liberal Studies i can easily get a job. no problem...WRONG! it has now been almost 4 months and still no job. i was beyond frustrated at first. thinking what is wrong with me and why is everybody telling me the right job will come at the right time. okay okay i get that but i want a job right NOW. i kept thinking well when you are in my shoes that is not the right thing to say. i am trying my hardest and going to so many interviews and applying to SO many jobs (like honestly probably close to 30 jobs). it gets tiring and annoying when you see other people getting jobs. this was  all of my thoughts for the longest time but now i have a different perspective... God puts us through dry spells and periods of uncertainty/doubt for a reason. There is not a season in this life ...