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hm do I help the disabled girl or not?

Okay so I have a little scenario for you that happened to me yesterday...

I am checking out at Target and I had a coupon where you have to spend a certain amount of money to get the discount. I was 99 cents short so i went and "tried" to get some mints. Now I don't know if you noticed before but sometimes those mints are in those cardboard boxes and are hard to get out. So I'm just trying to get the darn mints out and a lady in line just goes "oh let me get it for you".

*FREEZE*

I'm standing there like um okay thats really nice of that lady to offer the help but I kind of wanted to get it  myself (that's my strong will for ya).

This then brings me to the time where I was in South Africa and my new friend at the time asked me to go to coffee with her. Our conversation centered around the fact of I have seen people just jumping in to help you. Do you like that? or do you prefer to ask someone for help?

Well for those of you wondering the answer this is the way I see it.

Yes I can understand those individuals that just jump in to help. You are the kind of people that don't like to see people struggling so you just help them whether they ask you to or not. I get it. I see it with my students where I want to help them right away. It's hard to see someone struggling when you know you can help them and do it for them WAY faster than they could.

I also understand those who have not experienced those with disabilities that often so you just stand there staring not knowing what to do.

Well here it is. PLEASE don't just jump in and help (unless you really know me and know the main things I struggle with). I know it may be painful to watch someone struggle or take way longer to do something whereas you could get it done in an instant. But I also don't want you to just stand there and stare. You see it frustrates me more when you jump in to help because it makes me feel like I am incapable.

So instead just simply ask. Ask if I need help. I may say no and then try to get the darn mints but I'm just failing so I eventually ask you to help me. See living with a disability you learn to pick and choose what you are willing to try and what you are willing to ask help on. Sometimes it may be a battle I know i lose all the time (like carrying a full drink across the room or opening a water bottle) so right off the bat I ask for help.

Also if your not  comfortable asking me if I need help or are just staring their awkwardly then just walk away or go to pretend like your on your phone or something because nothing is worse than feeling those eyes press into you judging you if your going to be able to do the task or not.

So in the end I just want to say I get you and how your feeling and I don't blame you if you have done the following before but as for the way I live my hot mess of a disabled life I would prefer if you don't just jump in and if you ask before you do

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