Skip to main content

Words really do hurt

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me...

Remember that saying? You would taunt it when you were a kid but as you get older you start to realize um wait a minute.. words do hurt me.

This week was extremely challenging for me and I am still trying to pick myself up from it. You know with having a disability you have to develop a very thick skin because people can be mean and say mean things or do mean things by their actions. But still when you get that one person that targets one of your biggest insecurities you can't help but cry.

I knew going into any profession I would get someone to tell me you can't do it you have a disability & that was and still is one of my biggest fears. So when it did happen this week I was crushed and I mean wrecked. Driving home from that day the Lord guided me because I was crying so hard that the car lights were blurry. I have worked so hard to get where I am today. I have pushed through multiple obstacles from professors doubting me to interviewers doubting me but I had made it. I got my degree and my credential and have been working for three years as a teacher and it still gets brought up that I shouldn't be a teacher because of my special need. Man that was a dagger to the heart and it took all my strength to remain calm until I could be by myself.

Sometimes you can't be strong and sometimes you have to realize not everyone is going to accept you and it is a hard fact. I know I should not let one person knock me down but when you work so hard and your purpose of becoming a special needs teacher is to inspire those that have disabilities that they are capable of reaching their dreams it is hard to get told the opposite. So yes I am going to pick myself back up after a few days here and keep going but this week has reminded me of the hardships of having a disability and that things are not always pretty.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Struggle is Real with Adult CP

 Here is something that frustrates me about the state of California. Basically since I was diagnosed with CP I went to CCS (California Children Services). They provide free occupational and physical therapy until your 21. This is so awesome and I would go twice a week until high school where I would do more check ins because I was becoming more independent and doing so well I did not need it as much. Now I know what your thinking...um Nicole why are you frustrated with this? Well did you noticed I bolded until your 21? This is the issue. Once you turn 21 they are like bye bye good luck with the rest of your life. It has been difficult because you get dropped off and on your own without any recommendations of where to go next in life.  Most of you know that hot yoga has been a life saver for me and has basically become my physical therapy and it has been great until...covid. Due to the shutdown it also caused a shut down of my body because my physical therapy (aka yoga) was taken away (

Acceptance

For those of you that follow me on Instagram or Facebook you have probably seen my yoga videos that I have been putting up. On the recent one I had a friend comment about how much she loved my openness and confidence. This really got me thinking about what a road I have been on to get me to where I am at today. Back when I was a senior in high school I got nominated the most inspirational senior. Now when you are nominated for this award you have to write a speech and make the speech in front of the whole school at an assembly. I remember when I first found out I started bawling. Like what? People think I'm inspiring? At that time I was NOT comfortable speaking about my disability. In fact I couldn't even read the speech my principal had to because I was a wreck and was far from confident in myself. Even halfway through college I was not comfortable mentioning my disability. It was like the BIG elephant in the room. It made me nervous and I thought people already see that I

A Whole New Decade

 It has been over a year since I have been on here but I thought that my upcoming birthday of turning 30 was fitting to write a post about this last decade of my life. Especially since this blog has been a part of my 20s. So I thought I would write a letter to my 20 year old self.. Hey girl, It is me, the older, stronger, more independent version of yourself. I know right now you are so excited because you just got your driver's license which is the first step to independence and knocking down a boundary that people said you could not break through. But girl that is just the start. You truly have no idea how God is going to move you to become such a successful independent woman. I know right now you are worried that no one is going to want to hire you for being a special education teacher. I can tell you it is not going to be easy. You are going to have to fight for your abilities but the right principal is going to see you and believe in you and give you that chance because here w