Yesterday I uploaded some photos on to Facebook and I noticed that the album for 2017 was titled 2017: i choose JOY. I couldn't help but laugh because this year was everything but that. If I'm honest, I did not really enjoy 2017. 2017 was one of the hardest years I have had in a while and I will be glad to put this year away. 2017 involved a lot of tears shed, from relationship dynamics changing, to rejection, to not knowing if I was following God's calling, to my current struggle of having a challenging class plus going through my masters.
I look back and I remember my journey leading up to going to Kenya. There were so many moments where I sat there and thought maybe I misread God's calling. Maybe I have too much on my plate and I can't put my all in to this trip but God provided and filled my doubts with answers that I definitely was supposed to go to Kenya and it gave me an experience to reach the broken disabled population over there and to experience God's love in a whole new way. Plus it gave me relationships that are so honest and I know that whatever I go through there will be someone from that team that will encourage and support me.
I look back at when my Bible study group started and I had chosen the wrong Bible study book and a lot of members left. Then I started again inviting new girls to the group and now that group is my Monday night breath of fresh air. I know that I have not been the best Bible study leader this year due to all that is going on but they stick with me and we all support each other. They amaze me with their flexibility and constant support when I quite honestly don't know what I am doing.
Then I look at starting my masters program. When I got accepted I figured this will be awesome I am in my third year of teaching so for the most part I could focus on my masters classes. Well, little did I know I would get handed my most challenging group of students I have had yet. I am not going to lie since the beginning of this school year life has been stressful, rough and so unexpected. I have had weeks of little sleep and a lot of caffeine trying to survive the day.
However, I had a conversation the other day with a friend and she said you can never really be ready for the challenges. I think sometimes we think we have things all planned out and God says hold up you need to realize I am in control and in everything there is a reason. I think this recent season has taught me that you truly don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only you got. I think it is okay to question why things are happening as long as you then put it into God's hands. Lately, I do not know why all these challenges have been thrown at me and lately I break down and cry feeling defeated and unsure about what the future holds for me.
Therefore, my word for entering 2018 is hope. I know my God has me in the palm of His hands and He has guided me through many challenges throughout my life. I know I will look back at this time and see a reason for these challenges I am currently facing. Thus I want to look into 2018 as my year. As a year where I see hope for what is happening. Where I dream and hope these dreams come true. To never give up but to see the beauty of each day and that God hears my hopes and dreams and will fulfill them in his timing. So bring on 2018, I am ready to start fresh and clear and dive into a new year of unknown possibilities.
I look back and I remember my journey leading up to going to Kenya. There were so many moments where I sat there and thought maybe I misread God's calling. Maybe I have too much on my plate and I can't put my all in to this trip but God provided and filled my doubts with answers that I definitely was supposed to go to Kenya and it gave me an experience to reach the broken disabled population over there and to experience God's love in a whole new way. Plus it gave me relationships that are so honest and I know that whatever I go through there will be someone from that team that will encourage and support me.
I look back at when my Bible study group started and I had chosen the wrong Bible study book and a lot of members left. Then I started again inviting new girls to the group and now that group is my Monday night breath of fresh air. I know that I have not been the best Bible study leader this year due to all that is going on but they stick with me and we all support each other. They amaze me with their flexibility and constant support when I quite honestly don't know what I am doing.
Then I look at starting my masters program. When I got accepted I figured this will be awesome I am in my third year of teaching so for the most part I could focus on my masters classes. Well, little did I know I would get handed my most challenging group of students I have had yet. I am not going to lie since the beginning of this school year life has been stressful, rough and so unexpected. I have had weeks of little sleep and a lot of caffeine trying to survive the day.
However, I had a conversation the other day with a friend and she said you can never really be ready for the challenges. I think sometimes we think we have things all planned out and God says hold up you need to realize I am in control and in everything there is a reason. I think this recent season has taught me that you truly don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only you got. I think it is okay to question why things are happening as long as you then put it into God's hands. Lately, I do not know why all these challenges have been thrown at me and lately I break down and cry feeling defeated and unsure about what the future holds for me.
Therefore, my word for entering 2018 is hope. I know my God has me in the palm of His hands and He has guided me through many challenges throughout my life. I know I will look back at this time and see a reason for these challenges I am currently facing. Thus I want to look into 2018 as my year. As a year where I see hope for what is happening. Where I dream and hope these dreams come true. To never give up but to see the beauty of each day and that God hears my hopes and dreams and will fulfill them in his timing. So bring on 2018, I am ready to start fresh and clear and dive into a new year of unknown possibilities.
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