Skip to main content

Everyday I'm Struggling

I don't know where your life is or where your heart is at but these last few months have been hard.. It has been filled with a lot of challenges and ups and downs. Sometimes you think you are ready for something and then you dive in realizing you are drowning and doing the doggy paddle just to survive. You wake up everyday and look in the mirror and see those terrible under eye bags and think will these ever go away? But I wanted to write this post about a few things that have happened lately.

About a month ago when I wrote that posting about words really do hurt I was already struggling and when that happened I just broke. It was hard for me to stay positive and I was dragging getting up in the morning. Well, that night I got home and I was scrolling through my instagram and I came across a post that said

God is sending help. Don't worry. Hold on.


I remember thinking okay okay yeah God I have been asking you to help with this situation for the last two months. I am tired. 

Well I am not lying only 5 minutes later I get a call for what I was asking help for. Um cue the water works again but of happy tears. 

Now don't get me wrong I am still struggling with a lot. but I came across that post again today and I was reminded that God is ever faithful. That life can really be hard and you get trapped in a whirlwind of tiredness, frustration, and negativity. God is there. He sees your hurting,I worn out soul. He sees your confusion of what to do next. He is right there feeling your pain of missing or wanting someone this Christmas. 

Hold on.
Don't worry.
God is there.

Everyday lately I am struggling but God is struggling right there with me. I see the struggle around me of finances, job insecurities, relationships, self-consciousness. I think why am I struggling so much this whole year. I just got lunch with a friend I haven't seen in a long time and we were talking about how hard this year has been. It has been a year that I will gladly put behind me when 2018 comes but then I also think about how my God has never forsaken me and He is there and only He knows what will come of the situation so hold tight my friends and don't worry God may be sending you help right now in a way you never thought was the solution.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Does It Mean to Have CP?

You know this month is CP awareness month so I thought it would be fitting to write about what I feel everyday..So here we go When you wake up and get out of bed and think man my leg muscles are tight. When you walk into a store and you get the looks. The looks of curiosity, looks of wow that girl sure walks different, looks that make you feel like you just don't fit in. When you go to pay and you are struggling getting that money or credit card out and you start to blush because you know that cashier or the person behind you is thinking "that poor girl". When you are asked to repeat yourself 2-3 times because that person can't understand you and you just want to say never mind. When you have to buy new shoes more often than normal because you ruined the toe part of your shoe or you have a hole on the bottom due to walking toe-heel instead of heel-toe. When you have to use adaptive tools like a button hook. When you can't open a water bottle or you spill your dr...
Post a Comment
Read more

Words really do hurt

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me... Remember that saying? You would taunt it when you were a kid but as you get older you start to realize um wait a minute.. words do hurt me. This week was extremely challenging for me and I am still trying to pick myself up from it. You know with having a disability you have to develop a very thick skin because people can be mean and say mean things or do mean things by their actions. But still when you get that one person that targets one of your biggest insecurities you can't help but cry. I knew going into any profession I would get someone to tell me you can't do it you have a disability & that was and still is one of my biggest fears. So when it did happen this week I was crushed and I mean wrecked. Driving home from that day the Lord guided me because I was crying so hard that the car lights were blurry. I have worked so hard to get where I am today. I have pushed through multiple obstacles from ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Pregnancy & Birth

 Hi there! I know I do not blog on here on a regular basis anymore but my baby is napping and I wanted a place where I could remember the beauty of my pregnancy and birth. So here we go... June 20, 2023: I found out I was pregnant! Cue all the emotions (excited, nervous, scared) and the now what!  June-July 2023: I had just switched to my husband's insurance so I didn't have a doctor or anything. Luckily, with Kaiser I was able to get in pretty quickly. You see I wanted to be seen pretty quickly because I was on medication. I have been on medication since I was 15 for my spasticity/shakiness in my hands. Mind you I was 30 when I found out I was pregnant so I have been on this medication 3 times a day for half of my life 😲. I had no idea how my body would react to being off of it or even the process of getting off the medication. At first I was getting varying opinions about whether to stop cold turkey or to stay on it. Eventually, I spoke with my neurologist (who I wasn't ...
Post a Comment
Read more