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Have You Ever Questioned God?

A few days ago someone asked me if i had ever questioned God? Boom thats a heavy question now isn't it? So I am going to give you a little bit of my faith journey.

I was raised in the Lutheran church and went to private school my whole life. This was a blessing as I have known of our amazing Creator my whole life but that does not mean I never doubted Him or got angry with Him. I specifically remember a time in 5th grade where I was having a very difficult time accepting my disability. At that time I had a leg brace that went to from my foot to my knee because I was having issues with my right knee always turning in. I remember laying on the ground crying why God? Why do you have to give me this stupid disability? Why can't you just heal me and make me normal? I remember that moment the most because that was the angriest I ever was with God.

It's like you see other people getting healed and God performing miracles and you are praying just as hard and your like what the heck God?! Why are you healing them but not me!!

But in life you always grow and with growing I have grown in my faith. I have realized that God has performed little miracles in my life. I went from a little 5 year old using a walker to a 7 year old no longer needing a walker. I went from a 10 year old needing a wheelchair for long distances to a 20 year old traveling across the world walking many miles. I went from a little girl needing help with everything to an  independent 26 year old living on her own and having a career of her own.

I have now seen that God has gifted me with a physical disability so I can inspire and encourage others and show them how good God is. Who knows if I will ever be completely healed and to be honest I will never stop praying that but right now I surround myself in the truth that my God knows what He is doing and even though I may get frustrated and have days where I wonder what my life would be like if I did not have a disability I will stand firm on the truth that my God is always good.

So yes I most certainly have questioned God but I always have run back to Him because I know that without Him I am nothing. That is why I recently got a cross tattooed on my wrist because it is a daily reminder that He knows the way and He can move mountains and I am a mere vessel in His kingdom.

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