Joy In The Midst of Struggles

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" As a 23 year old I am beyond blessed that I have had my all 5 of my grandparents alive and no other person close to me has passed away. At the same time, here I am a 23 year old that has had my first grandparent pass away and it has rocked my world. When someone close to you is in the process of passing away time seems to stop. All day all you think about is the memories you shared with that person and how they made you feel and how you sure are going to miss that person. When my grandpa was days from passing away all I could think about is how I am going to miss those hugs where he would squeeze you so tight you thought you were going to suffocate but while he hugged you he would whisper how much he loved you. Then when my grandpa did pass away all I could think about is how I would never get one of those hugs again. I would never see his face again or get to say "hi grandpa!" and he would re...

Hello It's me I was wondering if after all these months you would still like to read this To go over everything Hi all, I haven't written on this blog since December and have decided it is time to start it up again. There for a while my life was a mess due to be a stressed out first year teacher but over this last month my life has somewhat calmed down. I had two students that went to a different school and since they have left my classroom has been way more peaceful and is like starting over again. That being said I don't want this blog to become all about my classroom which at some points it may be but I want this blog to be what I originally created it to be which is to talk about  what it is like to have a physical disability and some of the interesting things that go on.  So here it goes... What it is like to be a normal girl with a physical disability going through the airport? This week I flew to visit my friend in Sacramento. Now this is the sec...

I don't think anyone or anything can prepare you for your first year of teaching. So many people like to think teaching is such a sweet and fun career (which it is!!!) but they don't realize the amount of work that each teacher puts into their kids and their classroom. This is quite possibly the hardest  thing I have ever done. I spend 10 hour days at my school and I feel like I am never satisfied because there is always more to be done. I go to trainings and sit there overwhelmed because I want to do all of the materials they give me but don't know how to implement it. So many things but not enough hours or energy to do it. Some days I feel like a failure as a teacher because I always feel like I could be doing more. I look at other teachers and see all they are doing and how wonderful their classroom is and I just feel like I can never be as good as them. I'm not doing near as much amazing things as other teachers. My mind just races everyday with the things I shou...

It's funny to me when I think about my life and the journey of becoming a special education teacher. I used to always say "Oh I could never be a kindergarten teacher.They are just too tiny for me". Welp in this world don't ever say never because look at where i am now... A kindergarten teacher. As I began to reflect on this thought I was pointed back to a few things that have happened over time. I remember when I studied abroad in South Africa. I worked with an organization that mentored teachers and worked with the youth in the area. My team got placed at a preschool. I didn't know how I would feel working with that little of kids but they ended up taking a piece of my heart. At the end of the journey, the leader of our team ended up saying that  my nickname should be "mom" because I cared for the little ones and my team in a mom like manner. So you may be thinking well how does that have to do with being a kinder teacher now?... Well this week I e...

Just a little update on my life as a kindergarten teacher... I remember when I first decided I wanted to be a special education teacher and how I always said I wanted to create a classroom environment where the students help each other and no matter how different all of them are that we would support each  other. I have really been thinking lately about this aspect and how I think my classroom is this way. let me tell you why My classroom is filled with diverse needs of ten unique little kiddos. i have one with a physical disability, some that are loud, some that don't talk, some that run out of the classroom, and then you have me their teacher that has a physical disability. yes, this is a class that has so many different needs but yet there is such beauty and a sense of acceptance in my classroom. there was one day this week where i just sat there and relished in my beautiful classroom one of my students was helping one get his backpack on another was helping one speak wi...

Wow I have finally had some time to sit down and write about this new chapter in my life. Even though it is my 4th week of teaching I still get the chills realizing that I am a special education teacher. My dream has come true and I couldn't being more tired but also more happier!! When I first accepted the Kindergarten position I thought oh gosh..kindergarten? I was so used to 5/6th grade and I don't even know what to do with Kindergarten but God sure did know what he was doing. The one beautiful thing about Kindergarten is the fact that they don't question my disability at all. From day one they accepted me with open arms and don't look at me as different. How amazing is that? The more time that has gone on the more I really do love Kindergarten. it is the age where they have such simple innocent minds and really want to learn. I love watching them grow from the first day I had them to now. The simple fact of holding a pencil correctly is a victory. Oh also they sur...

Over these past few weeks I have been going on interviews to be a special education teacher. This is my dream. This is what I have been wanting to do my whole life. Yet on these interviews I just see them looking at me from the outside. Let me tell you it is hard I have yelled out in frustration Cried my eyes out in sadness Asked God why this is happening Thrown myself a pity party But you know what this week I have turned the corner and I have realized that all my life I have had to fight for myself and I have knocked down battle after battle in terms of my disability. I am a strong  person and I need to put on a shield of armor and go into each interview convincing them that I am worthy of a job. I have gotten this far in my journey to becoming a teacher and I cannot give up  now. So let me tell you why I am worthy of becoming a special education teacher. I know what it is like to live with a disability and to be different like my future students have to fa...