Skip to main content

A S H A M E D

A S H A M E D

This word has wrecked me.
This word is nasty.
This word hinders.
This word prevents people from being themselves.
This word has has been on my mind ever since Kenya.


You know one thing I did not expect when I went to Kenya is that I would get to work with the disabled population. I got to go into homes and visit and pray with differently abled individuals and their families. One thing that has wrecked me is how ashamed they are of differently abled individuals. They do not let them out of their houses, they do not have resources for them, they do not have individuals to encourage them to seek help. They are ashamed and hide them from the world. My heart has been broken ever since then. 

I don't think that word ever crossed my mind throughout my life. Yes I have hated or been frustrated with my disability but I don't think I have ever felt ashamed. I have been talking this through with many individuals trying to grasp what I am feeling. It has made me think that we still have people here who are still ashamed. Nobody thinks when they are having a child that their child will have a disability. Some do not know what to do with that thought and become ashamed that they could not have a "normal" child. I tend to think the Lord blessed me with parents who heard my diagnosis and said we will give our daughter the best help she needs. I think because of my parents and surrounding family and friends I grew up with being comfortable in my own skin but a lot of people do not get that lucky.'

So what is there to do?
We need to speak words of hope and love. My goodness, can we please just love those who are different? Is it too hard to ask for us to speak beautiful words to strangers? Why do these people feel ashamed? Because they do not feel the love and encouragement from others. The differently abled get the weird looks and the people who turn the other direction. If you see something beautiful, please speak it. The one of many things that Kenya has taught me is how beautiful it is to get out of your comfort zone and speak words of beauty. Look them in the eye. Tell them they are so strong and beautiful and God has made you beautiful and you should never ever be ashamed.

***still working through this. These are my continual thoughts lately.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What Does It Mean to Have CP?

You know this month is CP awareness month so I thought it would be fitting to write about what I feel everyday..So here we go When you wake up and get out of bed and think man my leg muscles are tight. When you walk into a store and you get the looks. The looks of curiosity, looks of wow that girl sure walks different, looks that make you feel like you just don't fit in. When you go to pay and you are struggling getting that money or credit card out and you start to blush because you know that cashier or the person behind you is thinking "that poor girl". When you are asked to repeat yourself 2-3 times because that person can't understand you and you just want to say never mind. When you have to buy new shoes more often than normal because you ruined the toe part of your shoe or you have a hole on the bottom due to walking toe-heel instead of heel-toe. When you have to use adaptive tools like a button hook. When you can't open a water bottle or you spill your dr...

Words really do hurt

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me... Remember that saying? You would taunt it when you were a kid but as you get older you start to realize um wait a minute.. words do hurt me. This week was extremely challenging for me and I am still trying to pick myself up from it. You know with having a disability you have to develop a very thick skin because people can be mean and say mean things or do mean things by their actions. But still when you get that one person that targets one of your biggest insecurities you can't help but cry. I knew going into any profession I would get someone to tell me you can't do it you have a disability & that was and still is one of my biggest fears. So when it did happen this week I was crushed and I mean wrecked. Driving home from that day the Lord guided me because I was crying so hard that the car lights were blurry. I have worked so hard to get where I am today. I have pushed through multiple obstacles from ...

Pregnancy & Birth

 Hi there! I know I do not blog on here on a regular basis anymore but my baby is napping and I wanted a place where I could remember the beauty of my pregnancy and birth. So here we go... June 20, 2023: I found out I was pregnant! Cue all the emotions (excited, nervous, scared) and the now what!  June-July 2023: I had just switched to my husband's insurance so I didn't have a doctor or anything. Luckily, with Kaiser I was able to get in pretty quickly. You see I wanted to be seen pretty quickly because I was on medication. I have been on medication since I was 15 for my spasticity/shakiness in my hands. Mind you I was 30 when I found out I was pregnant so I have been on this medication 3 times a day for half of my life 😲. I had no idea how my body would react to being off of it or even the process of getting off the medication. At first I was getting varying opinions about whether to stop cold turkey or to stay on it. Eventually, I spoke with my neurologist (who I wasn't ...