Joy In The Midst of Struggles

Looking back on the last six months of this year it has been filled with the unknown, ups and downs, but has truly been the best six months of my life. I keep thinking back to that first week of student teaching and doubting myself about being able to teach a 5/6 grade SDC. I was so focused on the position of being an RSP teacher and that was all I wanted. Then i get placed in a SDC and i was like oh no i can't do this. Well boy oh boy am I glad I stuck it through and trusted the plans of the Lord. These students of mine have truly become my children. I mean how can they not be? you are with them from the crack of dawn into the afternoon. You are there for every struggle, melt down, happy moments, and moments where the light bulb goes off. These kids have accepted me and see me as any other teacher and I could not have asked for a better class. Additionally, I was able to sub other classes during this time and even those kiddos accepted me and treated me with the respect of any...

The past two school days I have subbed a first and second grade class and boy is it a different experience but i loved it so much. Some of the students asked me "why do you talk funny?" I used to run away from this question and be like uhhh well...... However, now it shows me how much I have grown to accepting my disability and realize kids just accept me for who i am. so now the conversation goes like this: student: "you talk funny" me: "i know right" student: giggles...why? me: well i was born this way student: oh okay see one thing i have come to realize is that kids are just curious. they are not saying it to be mean but they are just curious. and once you explain to them then they take it and move on. simple as that. they just wanna know this same day there was a substitute aide in the classroom. I met her one time before and she told me an interesting thought. she was like "i just love how the kids accept you like anybody else and they...

Friday night I went out to dinner with my parents. As I sat down in the booth I thought it would be like any other night out to dinner. Our waiter came and we ordered drinks. After I had given our waiter my ID then things change. I expected the typical "I will be right back with your drinks" instead I got, "it's Cerebral Palsy right?"  WAIT! What? Wasn't expecting that one. He then went on to say that he was a caregiver for a man that had severe Cerebral Palsy. The man couldn't talk but he had a device where he could type what he wanted to say with his forehead. As the waiter left my dad proceeded to ask me "isn't it nice for someone to just outright say it. I mean you know he was thinking it". The answer is YES!. It rarely  happens that someone just outright says it and I think that is why I was caught off guard. We tend to keep the obvious to a quiet. Like "I don't wanna say anything for fear of it offending her even thou...

It's hard to believe that exactly one year ago I graduated college with a BA in Liberal Studies. It amazes me how fast time flies. However, you need those one year marks to reflect back on what has occurred in the past year. You tend to think about what you thought was going to happen to now having the reality of what really happened. What I thought was going to happen: Last year as I walked across that stage at graduation I was walking into the unknown. I had an idea of what was going to happen. I had been accepted into the Moderate/Severe Credential program at APU upon which I was going to start in the fall. I planned that over summer I would interview for a summer job or becoming an aide in a school. Key word: thought What actually happened: Yes, I applied for jobs just like I said, probably to about 30 jobs. I got one job offer but turned it down because it was not a good fit. I got plenty of job interviews but no job. However, through this whole summer long job process  ...

I decided I needed to get back to this blogging thing because doing this student teaching life i realize how much i am learning constantly every day about myself and about others. last week one of my students told me "my mom told me i need to look up to you because you are an inspiration" . hmmm there's that word again inspiration.  you know I've never realized how greatly that word is used around me until i was honored with the title of the most inspirational senior at my high school but the more i get called inspirational the more questions arise in my head: what exactly makes me inspirational? is it because i go through life with a disability? because if it is that then i don't know if i want to be called inspirational. according to the dictionary to inspire  is to fill someone with the urge or ability to do or feel something.  so then i tend to think to myself what exactly is it that i do or am to fill someone with the urge to do something because you ...

Hello strangers! I know its been a while since my last post and this is because I am so busy I don't have time to sit down and just write. So I wanted to catch you up on this whole student teaching experience... Do you ever have days where you think about what is going on in your life and how God showers his blessings over you? It is always my drive to and from school that I think about what my hopes for the day are and what the day turns out to be. Almost everyday my eyes get welled up with tears because i am in such awe of the blessing of being able to do what I want and having my dreams come true. in the beginning of this student teaching i did a lot of questioning. questioning if i was good enough, if the kids will ever like me, if i will end up hating this experience, etc. it makes me wonder why do i question God? He always provides and blows our expectations that i have learned more and more to not worry (whiich is really hard). sure some days these group of students pu...

So its been a week and a half since i started student teaching and what an adventure it has been already! i am in a special day class with 5/6 grade. I knew going into this adventure that I would be tested and the students might question my disability but i didn't quite know how i would deal with it so.. here we go... a couple of weeks of ago i watched this movie called front of the class. it is about an individual's journey to being a teacher with tourettes. it showed that on the first day of class he addressed the tourettes, explained it to the class, and let the students ask questions. so i decided to do just that! i explained to the class about my disability. explaining that i have Cerebral Palsy and I am just like you but do things a little differently. additionally that they can help me if i am struggling their reactions were priceless... "i just have a feeling! we are all family" "ya thats fine" ( so sweet and matter of fact) did you live i...