Joy In The Midst of Struggles

Yesterday I uploaded some photos on to Facebook and I noticed that the album for 2017 was titled 2017: i choose JOY. I couldn't help but laugh because this year was everything but that. If I'm honest, I did not really enjoy 2017. 2017 was one of the hardest years I have had in a while and I will be glad to put this year away. 2017 involved a lot of tears shed, from relationship dynamics changing, to rejection, to not knowing if I was following God's calling, to my current struggle of having a challenging class plus going through my masters. I look back and I remember my journey leading up to going to Kenya. There were so many moments where I sat there and thought maybe I misread God's calling. Maybe I have too much on my plate and I can't put my all in to this trip but God provided and filled my doubts with answers that I definitely was supposed to go to Kenya and it gave me an experience to reach the broken disabled population over there and to experience God...

Last night when I got home I happened to turn on the show 20/20 and they were doing a special on "the Good Doctor" which is a TV show about a doctor who has autism and is successful. They then showed real life doctors who have disabilities. They did a segment on a doctor who has Cerebral Palsy who walks exactly like me and almost mirrors myself. I was immediately filled with emotions because I never meet individuals like me so to see someone like me and who has the same feelings about life as I do is incredible. Let me tell you.. He applied to 12 different medical schools and got denied even though he was very much so qualified. Just like me I interviewed for 14 jobs before I got my current job. He said a lot of the medical schools didn't let him in because of his disability which is exactly how I felt when interviewing for a job. His doctors growing up told him he would never walk and would not be able to have a career, which is exactly what the doctors told my par...

I don't know where your life is or where your heart is at but these last few months have been hard.. It has been filled with a lot of challenges and ups and downs. Sometimes you think you are ready for something and then you dive in realizing you are drowning and doing the doggy paddle just to survive. You wake up everyday and look in the mirror and see those terrible under eye bags and think will these ever go away? But I wanted to write this post about a few things that have happened lately. About a month ago when I wrote that posting about words really do hurt I was already struggling and when that happened I just broke. It was hard for me to stay positive and I was dragging getting up in the morning. Well, that night I got home and I was scrolling through my instagram and I came across a post that said God is sending help. Don't worry. Hold on. I remember thinking okay okay yeah God I have been asking you to help with this situation for the last two months. I am ...

Lately, little things have popped up about parents of children with disabilities and I wanted to write a little something. Dear Parents, I see you. I see the hurt in your eyes. I see the struggle of balancing how to deal with someone who is different. I see the sadness. You got pregnant and dreamed of a beautiful life for your child. You imagined all the little steps your child would take and then boom something is different. Your world starts crashing down. You get the word from the doctor of a diagnosis. You start hearing the words your child will not or can't. You think what? How can this be? How am I going to navigate a world that is so foreign to me? Where do you even start? Everyone wants to support you through this new journey but they just don't understand. They don't understand that your child is trying to talk to you but no words are coming out of their mouth. They don't understand that you watch your child trying to tie their shoes and they are just tak...

This word I despise because people use it to describe someone and then use it to describe something that person is not. This word is offensive, degrades a person, and puts them into a category. This word is...NORMAL I have had multiple people throughout my years say this either to me or in regards to the differently abled population. Oh my blood boils because I am so passionate about this word and how people use it in the wrong way. Don't get me wrong, people do not mean it negatively but I just wanted you to see this word from a not "normal" person because here is the thing everyone is normal.   Let's think about this what did you just say? Everyone is normal. It's true we all have a unique characteristic about us. We all have something that someone out there would say  is weird. So for you to say I am not normal is offensive. For you to say any one of the individuals I teach or am friends with that have disabilities, or myself strikes a nerve in me...

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me... Remember that saying? You would taunt it when you were a kid but as you get older you start to realize um wait a minute.. words do hurt me. This week was extremely challenging for me and I am still trying to pick myself up from it. You know with having a disability you have to develop a very thick skin because people can be mean and say mean things or do mean things by their actions. But still when you get that one person that targets one of your biggest insecurities you can't help but cry. I knew going into any profession I would get someone to tell me you can't do it you have a disability & that was and still is one of my biggest fears. So when it did happen this week I was crushed and I mean wrecked. Driving home from that day the Lord guided me because I was crying so hard that the car lights were blurry. I have worked so hard to get where I am today. I have pushed through multiple obstacles from ...

You all I just finished my first quarter of grad school. I am working full time, have extremely challenging students, and taking two classes. I ran off of 5 hours sleep, which I need my sleep because my body gets a lot more tired than an average person, had to say no to plans and parties with friends, cried A LOT (almost every night), and drank a ton of caffeine (Red Bull, tea, coffee, soda, you name it). It probably was the most taxing eight weeks I have ever experienced. I definitely was not prepared for it...& I don't know how I survived and today I found out that I got 100% on my final paper in one of my classes that I worked 15 plus hours on. I am not going to lie I legit cried when I read what my professor thought of my paper. But I wanted to write on here what I learned over these last 8 weeks. It's okay to say no I am very much a yes person. If you want to go somewhere I say yes. If you need a favor I say yes. & If I don't say yes oh my I feel extremely ...