Joy In The Midst of Struggles

Last week I had dinner with one of my best friends who has been through a lot of ups and downs of life with me. We were discussing about where our lives are at now and how at the age of 25 we have accomplished so much. Then I began to realize something. That I am at a point now just like the quote where I realize it is all happening. You know growing up I thought that I would be married at age 25. Well, that ain't happening but what is happening is freedom. You know those moments where you realize wow my God did have a plan that I never could imagine.  You see this whole living on my own at age 25 is exactly what I needed in my life. Because now I not only realized that I could have my dream career that I have been fighting for the last 10 years of my life but I can also live independently. Maybe thats why I thought I'd be married already because I thought I would have to have someone to depend on and help me in my life because surely I can't do everything on my own....

It's a special day because it is National Cerebral Palsy Awareness day! As I was driving home (to my new apartment..eek!) I started getting emotional thinking about how much I have accomplished as a person with CP. You know when I was younger I had no idea how my life would turn out. I didn't know any adults with CP or quite frankly I didn't know anyone else (young or old) who even had a similar case of CP. CP is a disability that does not have that much awareness which is why I created this blog so people can understand it more. I mean how many times do you go to the store or go to eat and see someone with a CP. It is so very rare. Therefore, I hope this day makes you "normal" people more aware and I hope it makes those with CP know that they are not alone! However, I did want to touch on what the Lord has enabled me to do. In fact as I am writing this blog the song came on saying "Our God is able". Oh man is that true. Here I am a 25 year old adult...

Exciting news! I moved out to my very own apartment! Yes you heard that right I am living on my very own all by myself. I knew I wanted to move out this year but was planning to do it over summer when  I am on summer break (teacher perks) but you know sometimes God has a different plan. About a month ago my mom and I were on our way to a shopping mall and I have always admired these apartments that are on the way. All of a sudden my mom goes do you want to stop and go look at them. I said sure why not and we took a tour. Well my mom and I got into the car after and looked at each other and I just said it's the one. I really like it. The next day I went back and looked for the exact apartment I wanted and applied for the apartment. About 3 days later I got notified the apartment was mine! Like what?? This was extremely unexpected. Was I ready for this? I think sometimes we get scared to take a leap of faith. We hesitate, we doubt, we retract back to our comfort zone and go throu...

Since it is CP awareness month I am going to try to be more intentional on opening your eyes to my world. Recently I got a question from someone that asked me so what do you usually need help with? Like do you do your own hair? Do you cook? So here we go... The Lord has truly blessed me to the fact that I am such an independent person living with CP. When this person asked me if I do my own hair it struck a soft spot because I remember being younger and wondering if I would be able to do my hair on my own. I absolutely can. I curl it, straighten it, do messy buns all of it. I do my makeup and everything. So you may be thinking okay okay what do you struggle with.. Buttons..especially those tiny ones. Oh boy they are a challenge but you know what is awesome they have this item called a button hook that I have used since I was five years old. It literally is the best adaptive tool and allows me to button any size button. Cutting.. Oh you want me to hold a fork and a knife to eat?...

You know this month is CP awareness month so I thought it would be fitting to write about what I feel everyday..So here we go When you wake up and get out of bed and think man my leg muscles are tight. When you walk into a store and you get the looks. The looks of curiosity, looks of wow that girl sure walks different, looks that make you feel like you just don't fit in. When you go to pay and you are struggling getting that money or credit card out and you start to blush because you know that cashier or the person behind you is thinking "that poor girl". When you are asked to repeat yourself 2-3 times because that person can't understand you and you just want to say never mind. When you have to buy new shoes more often than normal because you ruined the toe part of your shoe or you have a hole on the bottom due to walking toe-heel instead of heel-toe. When you have to use adaptive tools like a button hook. When you can't open a water bottle or you spill your dr...

Last night I watched the movie Wonder...Oh my lanta the whole time I had tears flowing down my face either from sadness or from beauty and I wanted to write about the story through my eyes. 1. When Auggie comes home from his first day and breaks down crying because the kids were mean and he says why do I have to look like this? Why am I ugly? I absolutely lost it because do you wanna know how many times growing up and even still I have posed this question of why? Why do I have to look so different on the outside? Why do I have to go through life like this? Why can't I be normal and like everybody else? 2. He brings up the topic of people staring and admits that if he saw someone like him he would stare to? Many of you know that staring is something that is a pet peeve of mine because I know I am different but why do you have to constantly stare at me? But then again I like Auggie's perspective because I would probably be curious and stare at a person like me as well... ...

Let's be real...Well actually I'm always honest on here. The last four months of life have been hard..real hard. There has been so many moments where I wanted to throw in the towel and just be done. There has been many mornings where I just did not want to get up. You know that feeling where you just have this gloomy cloud hanging over you and you just cannot shake it off. I look at pictures and see bags under my eyes and this smile where I know inside I am questioning why all of this is happening. I cannot tell you how many nights I went to sleep crying and talking with the Lord about why this is happening. Why have I been thrown all these things at one time? BUT what I am here to tell you is no matter how hard life is. No matter how many times you want to give up. No matter how deep the bags are under your eyes there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. There is always God there saying everything is going to be okay. I am finally at the end of that tunnel. Where I ...