Joy In The Midst of Struggles

I don't know about you but when I grew up I always had dreams of a career. I remember I wanted to be a nurse but then I realized there is no way me with my shaky hands and wacky fingers could ever poke someone with a needle. Then I wanted to be an occupational therapist because what better than being a person who has gone through occupational therapy her whole life now show others how to adapt things. But then I thought oh no that would not work. Here I am trying to help someone button when I can barely button my own stuff. HA! It makes me laugh just thinking about it. So then began my desire to be a teacher. I knew since the 4th grade this was my calling. It was dead set on my heart and it never went away. But can i tell you? Yes I did dream of it but I always thought how can a person like me have a career. I never had a physically disabled person as a role model. I never had someone like me to look up to. I never had someone to show me it is possible to be different AND have a ...

So I have always debated about doing a post on this subject but I always convince myself not to but my hope for this blog is to enlighten others about the disabled community so here it goes... Let's talk about my speech and how I talk... This is a rough topic because I never really have told others about this insecurity of mine but I have recently gotten peace about it and I feel like I finally embrace it You know having Cerebral Palsy it affects your muscles and one of those muscles it affects for me is my tongue. Thus is why I do talk differently. I went to a speech therapists from one I was in kindergarten all the way to about 5th grade. My speech has improved greatly from it but yes I do still talk differently. So can I tell you growing up and honestly until about a month ago I used to HATE hearing my voice on any recording. It would make me so uncomfortable because in my head the way that I hear myself I sound normal. So then when I go to hear my voice on a recording I...

Recently I got a new car because my other car was a lemon (aka lots of transmission issues). & while it is exciting to get a new car it brought me to this topic of how it is i can drive so let me tell you the story... Flashback to 8 years ago when I turned 16. Thinking about driving like all teenagers was on my mind. To me I had no doubt that I would be able to drive (see my parents inspired me to always dream and never give up) but others had their doubts. I remember telling my parents I wanted to get my permit so they said okay to start the process of figuring out how and if i could drive. I failed my permit twice and it really discouraged me and I figured you know what maybe this isn't going to happen so I put a hold on my dream. Fast forward to sophomore year of college when I decided it was time to revisit that dream again. I took the permit and passed! Next step I went to a driving rehabilitation place to get assessed. They said I could probably drive without hand con...

Okay so I have a little scenario for you that happened to me yesterday... I am checking out at Target and I had a coupon where you have to spend a certain amount of money to get the discount. I was 99 cents short so i went and "tried" to get some mints. Now I don't know if you noticed before but sometimes those mints are in those cardboard boxes and are hard to get out. So I'm just trying to get the darn mints out and a lady in line just goes "oh let me get it for you". *FREEZE* I'm standing there like um okay thats really nice of that lady to offer the help but I kind of wanted to get it  myself (that's my strong will for ya). This then brings me to the time where I was in South Africa and my new friend at the time asked me to go to coffee with her. Our conversation centered around the fact of I have seen people just jumping in to help you. Do you like that? or do you prefer to ask someone for help? Well for those of you wondering the answ...

Let's be real with one another. I'm not going to sugar coat this. Having a physical disability sucks and sometimes I wish I did not have to endure what I do but the Lord is continually working in me to keep being strong and to show others it is perfectly okay to be different. World Cerebral Palsy day was last Wednesday and it got me thinking a lot about my life thus far. You know that day was to shed a positive light to the fact that those with CP are perfectly capable but are often times judged and assumed to be dumb before they even get a chance to prove that person wrong. I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me and it actually just happened to me recently. Usually I try to stay on the positive but sometimes those things as hard as you try still get to you. Here I am a perfectly capable woman getting beat down by some people who just are not exposed to the capable disabled individual. I then wish like why God? Why did you give me this disability? Why can ...

As my birthday is approaching in 2 days, I like to reflect back on what this past year of being 23 years old had in store. I remember last year at this time I was in the stage of the unknown. I was in my last class of my credential and I did not know where the Lord wanted me to work or even if I was going to get a job that school year. For the first two months of being 23 all I did was sit at the computer and send job application after job application. Little did I know the Lord was asking me to sit and be patient because he had the perfect job for me...a Special Education Kindergarten Teacher in Riverside. This was a HUGE step out of my comfort zone because I was thinking I would be teaching in Orange County and I thought I would teach more older kids. Well, let me tell you just when you think you know what you want the Lord bumps you and says "no, my dear Nicole, I have a better plan for you". So here I was taking a big step out of my comfort zone but it ended up being ...

A few months ago I was talking to my friend and her family about how awesome it would be if I could go visit my friend in New Zealand once her semester in college had ended. At the time, I was thinking oh thats a cool idea but it will never happen. How could I possibly go across the world all by myself? Welp...guess what Nicole...never say never because look it happened! I knew I would be fine once I landed on New Zealand territory but flying by myself across the world scared me to death. Let's be real I am a very independent person compared to most that have a physical disability but I still do need help with certain things. Like opening a tight water bottle or lifting my baggage off of the conveyor belt. How am I going to do those things all by myself. Ill tell you how by the strength of the Lord. All I did was pray for the Lord to be near me and keep me safe and the Lord provided through different individuals. On the way there I met a lady who was on the same layover in Fiji...

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard" As a 23 year old I am beyond blessed that I have had my all 5 of my grandparents alive and no other person close to me has passed away. At the same time, here I am a 23 year old that has had my first grandparent pass away and it has rocked my world. When someone close to you is in the process of passing away time seems to stop. All day all you think about is the memories you shared with that person and how they made you feel and how you sure are going to miss that person. When my grandpa was days from passing away all I could think about is how I am going to miss those hugs where he would squeeze you so tight you thought you were going to suffocate but while he hugged you he would whisper how much he loved you. Then when my grandpa did pass away all I could think about is how I would never get one of those hugs again. I would never see his face again or get to say "hi grandpa!" and he would re...

Hello It's me I was wondering if after all these months you would still like to read this To go over everything Hi all, I haven't written on this blog since December and have decided it is time to start it up again. There for a while my life was a mess due to be a stressed out first year teacher but over this last month my life has somewhat calmed down. I had two students that went to a different school and since they have left my classroom has been way more peaceful and is like starting over again. That being said I don't want this blog to become all about my classroom which at some points it may be but I want this blog to be what I originally created it to be which is to talk about  what it is like to have a physical disability and some of the interesting things that go on.  So here it goes... What it is like to be a normal girl with a physical disability going through the airport? This week I flew to visit my friend in Sacramento. Now this is the sec...